Nonna's Favorite Quotes:

Nonna's Favorite Quotes: "The best way to make children good is to make them happy." — Oscar Wilde, author and poet

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Parenting Tips From Erma Bombeck

I love Erma Bombeck's humor. She never ceased to make me laugh. I just found some of her funniest parenting tips and words of wisdom about children and housework that I thought you'd enjoy.

  • Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter-productivity.
  • I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week.
  • My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
  • Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
  • No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
  • One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
  • Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
  • My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
  • When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
  • In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.
          Inspired Parenting Tips

1 comment:

  1. I love Erma Bombeck. I steal her stuff all the time!

    ReplyDelete