Nonna's Favorite Quotes:

Nonna's Favorite Quotes: "The best way to make children good is to make them happy." — Oscar Wilde, author and poet

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Pushing-Back

Mémé Shares: 

This morning I read for the first time a new term in parent discipline lexicon called “pushing-back.”  I was appalled and a little on edge once I fully understood that, indeed this is what parents refer to when a child is not following the rules, arguing or downright defiant.  By the way, a parent disciplining their child is now labeled “top-down pushing.”  Exactly when did the corporate board room take over the daily give and take of the family unit?

I can imagine the scene in my home if I argued with my parents about their decisions for my welfare.  At the very least, it was talking back, and you could bet it would have been a race to see which parent could get their hands on me first.  Time in my room alone to word the expected apology would have been the least of my worries.  I can’t even envision that, instead of apologizing, I explained that I was merely “pushing-back” in order to determine the limits and perhaps negotiate a compromise! Seriously??
           
Discipline should flow one way and that is from the parents (and grandparents) to the child. In the school setting it's from the teacher to the student. (Enough there for an entire blog.) True, my parents' generation- and mine- did not have to deal with electronically wired 24/7 tweens and teenagers.  However, if there was something I enjoyed doing, it was gone faster than I could blink.  And punishments stood.  If I was grounded for a week, it was a week.  Didn’t matter that it was homecoming and “I would be the only one not going!”  Perhaps today’s parents, who are also wired, are forgetting that children look for structure and meaning in the parameters of their lives. It surely won’t come from their 300 friends on Facebook and 140 Twitter characters. It is the parents responsibility to provide that structure and, yes, from the top down.  And no pushing back.



Mary C. Prus, B.A., MATL. (Mémé) taught and administered Early Childhood Developmental Programs in Erie, PA. for 20 years, including the Maura Smith Child Learning Center on the campus of Mercyhurst College, where she had received her Bachelor’s Degree (many years earlier). Which only proves - what goes around, comes around!  Currently she is teaching sixth grade Middle School in Memphis, TN. She is a long distance grandmother to three grandchildren.

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